It’s so sad to watch one of my best friends keep relapsing. It’s so sad to watch my friend hurt. It’s so sad to care about someone and know that there isn’t a darn thing I can do to stop this horrible disease from trying to take my friend. Not only my friend, but it almost took my nephew a couple of weeks ago. Thank God that his life was spared.Thank God my life was spared. I’m so gratefull that the battle to get sober is over and I pray each and every day that I never have to go back there again. I will continue to pray for all of the sick and suffering addicts, and their family members.My prayer is that they may be able to experience the freedom of the bondage of this horrible disease, and that they would be able to experience the peace and joy that I have been so abundantly blessed with. Much Love, M.
Court day on Monday
Kay April 15, 2011I found out that the court day has been continued again. My advocate went to my Attorneys office and she was told our abusers attorney filed a motion to continue. Our abusers attorney claims he has taken a mental evaluation that was ordered by the Judge, yet I have not seen proof that he has. I did read in the Judge order that our abuser was to have the evaluation complete and turned into the court by March. The Attorney claims our abuser did not have the money to pay for it.. Today, I received a called from our abusers probation officer, he was arrested a few day’s ago for possession and is currently in jail again. I am thankful she took time to call me, there is a possibility he can make bail, even though he has violated his probation. I do not understand how our abuser’s circumstances are being put first and the children and I must wait until it is a good time for him. He should be held in contempt like it was ordered, our abuser can buy drugs and gamble yet he can not pay for a mental evaluation? The only good thing out of all this is, Gods will is being done, the truth continues to be revealed. Thank you to all who are truly keeping us in your prayer. ” Gods will be done”.
Abuse is not always physical
Kay April 10, 2011A few weeks ago I found out my oldest son, who is now 21, ran across our abuser’s phone number and called him. At first I was horrified. I called my advocate and talked with her. I quickly realized that it was not about me or my youngest children. During this final battle with our abuser I feel as though I have over looked how hard it was for my oldest children. Our abuser was a step father to my oldest son when he was 7. Although he did not sexually molest him, he was emotional, physical and financially abusive. I realized that my oldest son always had to be the strong one. he would always fight back when our abuser would attack him and after a while our abuser just stopped interacting with him. He hardly talked to him. At the time I figured they would work it out. What I failed to see was the signs of the abuse, withholding attention from a child is emotional abuse. I realize it was good for him to say what ever he needed to say, and not carry the anger around with him anymore. Our abuser had a gambling problem. My oldest son and daughter had to move with my first husband when they were 8, and 10, our abuser took a second mortgage on our family home and lost it all. Soon after that our abuser said he was taken our 2 year old to the zoo and drove to TN. This turned our life upside down. The kids have never had the chance to stay connected. Our abuser robbed them of a secure, happy childhood. My oldest son is doing well today, he is going to college and has a good job. I pray all the time for God to keep peace and harmony in my family. I never want to live that way again. I do the best I can everyday to show my children life can be good. I can not change the past, I can walk into a better future.
Staying possitive
Kay April 09, 2011I have a court day on the 18th of this month. Sometimes I get real shaky and feel sick to my stomach thinking of this day. I am staying positive, Staying in the word of God. This is not alway’s easy, my old thoughts and behaviors try to miss lead me. I have been so blessed to be surrounded with good people. The people that I work with really helped me stay in the moment and to stay positive this week. Everyone seems to have the fundamental idea that when we say something and then speak it, an energy is created. I call it the spirit. I realize that a thought, becomes an action, and until I had God to help guide me it didn’t matter how positive I was, or how good my intentions were. I am staying in the present and living in today, I am not going to project what the outcome is going to be with the custody and safety of my family. I am going to stay in faith and trust God has it under control. Keep us in your prayers. “ I pray my children are safe and protected and the grace of God will be done“.
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