I woke up to my son crying. I asked why he was crying. He said I miss my dad. God, my heart felt so much pain for him. All I could say was I understand, it must be hard. The good thing is he can share how he feels, and that its OK for him to miss his father. He said he misses going on vacation and all the fun stuff he did. I understand, I assured him, I am keeping us safe. This is a good example of one of the many reasons it is so hard to face reality and leave. The Truth is the kids have to be protected from there own father. That is gut wrenching pain. For the first time in 5 years my son told me Thank you mommy, I love you. there was no anger in his voice, he meant it.  After he fell asleep, Thoughts of us being in the shelter in TN passed through. I remember my son got to the courtesy phone they had and called our abuser. After he hung up, he looked at me and said “my dad is coming to shoot you through that window. He knows were we are.” He meant it. Our abuser has been a hunter since he was a boy, he is very good at shooting. CPS moved us to another shelter. Then a memory passed through, on last day of school that year our abuser took our son to the shooting range, I asked why he would take a 8 year he can not shoot a gun. Our abuser replied he likes to watch. I get a chill down my spine, I just didn’t see what was going on. When they returned home our 8 year old said look mom dad shot them in the head, our son had the target in his hand. Why would he bring that home? My instinct told me something was very wrong. My son still has a fear that someone is going to sniper us at night.  I keep telling him we are safe.