It’s been a very long time since my last blog. So many new exciting things are going on in my life. On july 10,2011 I became a grandmother to a beautiful healthy baby boy “D”. Unfortunately the baby lives out of the country with the mother, and my son and I are not able to have the relationship that we would like to have with baby “D”, hopefully someday soon that will change. Hopefully the baby will be able to have citizenship and we will be able to bring him here for visits. I’ve also been blessed with the oppurtunity  to attend a dental assistant school, which I absolutely love. I never thought I would ever say I loved school-but today things are different. There are alot of positive changes going on in my life. I am so amazed at how good life is today, the doors keep opening up to a better future, one right after the other one. I was  told when I got sober that my life would continue to get better and better, it has, and for that Iam eternally gratefull. Sincerely M.

This is my first summer at the new house where I work, but it’s the fifth summer with the same employer. How truly blessed I am today to have support all around me. This life is all new to me,  I’ve never been sober for this long. It’s all about the memories, and making new memories wherever I go. When I decided to get sober, I was told that I wouldn’t be able to work at the same job or live in the same apartment because there would be constant reminders of being loaded. Not true, today I can walk this earth, work the same job, live at the same place and not think about getting loaded. I’m a free women today, I have the freedom to make new choices and new memories, I am truly blessed. Much Love M.

Don’ t know why I’m feeling blue lately. Maybe that’s part of life? Maybe it’s because there has been some things that have happened recently that were not so good. Or maybe it’s about some things that are going to happen, and I’m in alot of fear? Who knows what the reason is. Maybe just by blogging it will lose some of it’s power. I don’t like it when I feel this way. But I always have to remember that it’s better to feel today, than to be numb like I used to be. M

I am beginning to really see why I used to get loaded. Recently I have been having flashbacks of some of the horrible things that I did in my addiction. Things that I thought I had buried so deep they would never come out. I don’t now if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that they are coming up. I don’t like  remembering some of the things that I did, but I must accept them because it’s part of the healing process. When these memories come up, I have just been stopping and letting the thought come and allowing myself to feel the pain and then asking God to please forgive me for “those things”,” those things” that I could never make amends for,” those things” that gave my disease the power that it used to have over me. I’m glad that “those things” don’t have a hold on me anymore, I just need to learn to let them go and let God have “those things” and most importantly to learn to forgive myself for doing  ”those things”. Much Love “M”